I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
