4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
