Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
