Someone shit on the floor
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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