have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
