since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
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I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The air taste purple.
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