At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
