I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
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The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
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I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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