Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
