she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
