he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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