So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
