I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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