I CAN MOONWALK!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
