Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize