So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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