Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
