I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
