Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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