No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
