Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
