And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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