Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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