lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
