sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
