Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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