So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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