is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
