I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
