Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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