I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
50% drunk capacity currently
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
