he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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