Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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