You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
