he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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