Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
