this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize