weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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