She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize