Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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