I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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