there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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