I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
