my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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