We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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