i think i have herpe
just one?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sorry my hands just texted you
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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