I wanna bring you to show and tell
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
