his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
