Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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