i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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