He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
