You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize