her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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