How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
