Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
