She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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