That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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