i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
