Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude