i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
birth control should be required to get into college
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I look excited, but its just a facade.