im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
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Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.