ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish