Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?

  (325): View more from Texas

  Because you touch yourself at night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working? (325): Because you touch yourself at night. http://tfl.nu/lm5u
  Replies (14) Good night (3012) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry? http://tfl.nu/3wve
  Replies (40) Good night (702) Bad night (4326) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work http://tfl.nu/n6gj
  Replies (5) Good night (400) Bad night (3987) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious. http://tfl.nu/t95v
  Replies (31) Good night (2376) Bad night (1702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Let me guess--your parents are cousins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Let me guess--your parents are cousins. http://tfl.nu/a2p5
  Replies (22) Good night (784) Bad night (4767) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him. http://tfl.nu/o9z5
  Replies (10) Good night (841) Bad night (3342) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..? http://tfl.nu/v5ou
  Replies (5) Good night (3248) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship. http://tfl.nu/bk2a
  Replies (3) Good night (860) Bad night (2155) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7? http://tfl.nu/xrb5
  Replies (9) Good night (2356) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming. http://tfl.nu/sdt5
  Replies (4) Good night (2126) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart. http://tfl.nu/peyr
  Replies (17) Good night (2886) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight? http://tfl.nu/mdtp
  Replies (4) Good night (837) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone http://tfl.nu/cug7
  Replies (6) Good night (977) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.

  (1-719): View more from Colorado

  Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck. (1-719): Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER! http://tfl.nu/1zbw
  Replies (1) Good night (1408) Bad night (200) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/gswm
  Replies (5) Good night (264) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt

Randomize