I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
