the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize