I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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